I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
