so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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