the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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