We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
