Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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