I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
