We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
