Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
