i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
