I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
