i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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