So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
