I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
