I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
