It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
