I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
