Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
