you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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