Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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