Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't turn off my feet"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
