The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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