Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
