ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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