Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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