physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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