We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
