been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's never too late to be topless.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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