I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
