i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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