Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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