Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
