did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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