The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
