yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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