I am puke
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
