thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
