I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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