A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
