He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
