i would punch a child for taco bell
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You brought string cheese to the strip club
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
