why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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