The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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