pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
