I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
