I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
