his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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