would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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