Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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