yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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