can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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