We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
They are going to name an STD after you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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