I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
