hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
